addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Green mimosas i think yes
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
