Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
