You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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