how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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