i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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