I think i peed on brittanys purse
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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