Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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