His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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