my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
