fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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