Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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