What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We just shotgunned beers for America
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
