I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i came on her dog
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
