i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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