He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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