I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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