I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My cat gives me a boner
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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