Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
