love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
