i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
