do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Welp...herpes.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
