Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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