there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize