woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
