Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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