I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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