i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
