Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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