the new term for farting is butt boxing.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
