There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
