I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
