Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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