you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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