i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
