very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
