Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
