You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
