So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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