I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
