is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
