drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
