don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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