I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
