He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize