i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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