An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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