My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize