My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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