I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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