Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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