I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
