Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just pee around me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
