We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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