Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
