i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
