I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
