I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We had to coat check the pizza.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
