He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Shame is for Republicans.
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