The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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