your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
