Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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