please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
