He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I am available for nakedness
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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