I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
