I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
