my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
