Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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