It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize