Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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