I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
