it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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