roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
