Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Randomize
