also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
